A Star Is Born

Quincy Grace, Smiley Face, turned five months old last week. And may I just say, she is a star. In fact, we say it several times a day. She is an absolutely delightful baby. She sleeps through the night. She goes to sleep without a fuss. And when she's awake, she is always smiling and laughing. She is a star!



You may note from the picture above that she resembles a mouse, what with the big ears and the tuft of hair on her head, but that makes her all the more endearing. God must have known that I needed my fourth to be easy and, in His infinite wisdom, he gave me a "star." She is the icing on the proverbial cake and has been a true delight.

My 'Rents

I was reading my cousin Jenna's blog today that contained a lengthy tribute to her mom, whom she clearly and unabashedly loves. I am more guarded in my emotions, but I shouldn't be. My parents (who I've all but ignored in this blog) are long overdue for tribute. They have always had total belief and confidence in me, for no real apparent reason. They are my biggest fans and supporters. They have trusted me and encouraged me, and have always regarded me as an equal. Their "sky's the limit" approach to raising me should be blamed for any unfounded conceit or confidence I might have. I have fond memories of my mom staying up until midnight with me practicing for the spelling bee, or my dad skiing backwards for hours determined to teach me to ski. I eventually won the spelling bee, but I'm still not much of a skiier. But, its the indelible picture of their patience and determination that will stick with me.

Both my parents have always worked full-time, often more than one job. And they did this while raising me, my special needs brother, and another brother. Now, that I am completely overwhelmed by own four kids, I have no idea how they did it. And, I especially have no idea how they did it while being so OCD organized and clean! I am such a mess! Ultimately, the legacy that my parents have left me is one of hard work, patience, commitment to learning, tenacity, and quiet, unassuming thoughtfulness.

My parents are the world's most doting and endearing grandparents. My mother has a special connection with my girls and indulges them with frilly dresses, manicures, and reading lessons that I often don't have the time, femininity, or patience for. My dad is Fisher's soulmate. Fisher is sort of an emotional puzzle that only my dad can put together. They have an unspoken bond. They look at deer together, play ball together, and my dad even mends his clothes. (Good thing too because I don't sew).

My own grandparents, Papa Ace and Laynie were amazing, dare I say, life-changing. I am thrilled that my kids will have grandparents to have that same influence in their lives.

Truer Words Were Never Spoken

That Thomas Paine was really on to something. I was reading a little story about the Revolutionary War with my seven year old yesterday and it quoted his famous words. They rang particularly true of today's economic climate, as well as all trying times, whether they be within a family, community, business, or simply within yourself.

"These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country. But he that stands it now now deserves the love and thanks of man and woman . . . The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph . . . What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only that gives everything its value."

My husband works with all of his brothers and his father in real estate development and construction. And, until recently, we owned a car dealership together. It would be no secret that the economic crisis has had a huge impact on our business and thus, our family. But these words and the sentiment behind them are ennobling. How grateful I am that we have remained a cohesive group with a deep sense of commitment to each other.

Loryn's Birthday

Loryn turned five over the weekend. Pinch myself, five! Where does the time go? And, as always seems to be the case in our family, the festivities were drawn out over several days. On Saturday, we hosted a Safari-themed birthday party for seven of Loryn's friends and cousins. It was a splendid adventure, and I have to thank my husband for being an absolute gem.

He dressed up as Safari Joe and lead the motley crew on a scooter safari around the neighborhood in search of treats that we'd hidden earlier. It was complete chaos and mayhem, but they loved every minute of it.

How many husbands would parade around the neighborhood on a scooter with a large stuffed snake wrapped around their bodies? Not many, that's for sure. So, I felt bad the next day when March Madness got the better of me, and I scolded him for watching too much basketball.

Anyway . . . Loryn's party was a success. And Sunday we celebrated her actual birthday with cake and ice cream and both sets of grandparents (and Tiffany) in attendance. It was a wonderful weekend in celebration of LoLo's life.

Loryn is my spunky spitfire who brings technicolor imagination to what would be an otherwise black-and-white sort of life. I appreciate her zeal and passion for everything she does. I am always waiting to see what she'll do next. She is also tender, insightful, and proactively helpful. She has been an absolute delight, and I feel so blessed for the opportunity of raising her.

Me Lucky Charms

St. Patrick's Day has come and gone. And despite my predisposition to feel sort of unlucky recently, I look at these kiddies and remember how lucky I am. For them, and a lot of other things too. Speaking of lucky, I am lucky to have a mom to outfit my kids in these festive green outfits! When I walked in from errands the day before St. Patty's Day, these outfits were laid out with a simple note from my mom. It reminded me of the days of yore, when my Papa Ace would quietly leave homemade stew or a bag of fruit in the kitchen for my family. How lucky I was to have fantastic grandparents. How lucky my kids are to have fantastic ones too!

We started out the day with green eggs and not ham, but french toast. I thought I was clever fulfilling the requirement to make green food on St. Patrick's Day, but apparently that makes food less appetizing for some reason. So, no one wanted to eat it.

So, Happy Green Day everyone! And Ides O' March too. Another pointless holiday that I've always felt the need to celebrate or, at the least, acknowledge.

March Madness

So, there is a sign that hangs in the Ross family home that reads, "We put this marriage on hold for basketball season." When I was dating Dan, I should have regarded as more of a statement of fact, rather than an attempt at a joke. I am officially a basketball widow, but it could be worse as Dan continually reminds me.

It is officially March Madness in the Ross family again. Which, for us, means that Dan has just finished up several months as our Stake Athletic Director, spending at least ten hours a week refereeing, coordinating, and playing in church games.

It also means that Dan is also on a city league team with his brothers. It also means that he and his brothers just spent the weekend in Las Vegas watching the Mountain West tournament. It also means that tonight we are having the Ross Family Draft. Which also means that we are embarking on a journey of watching all the NCAA games to nightly ascertain who is winning in the family draft which, by the way, Dan and I never seem to win.

So, because I am now a Ross myself, I made an unspoken oath at marriage to perpetuate these rituals and instill them in the upcoming generations. So, let these photos stand as a testament to the fact that I am doing my best. Despite the fact that I myself still know next to nothing about basketball.

Ideal is Officially Impossible, (In Case You Didn't Already Know That)

Soooo, I was thinking in the shower this morning. It's always been the place I think, and these days, it is the only place I think. I digress. Anyway, I was thinking about all the things that I should be doing. You know what I mean--that haunting list we keep running in the backs of our minds. So, I started to list all the things that the church, society, your family . . . and Oprah say you should be. And then I came to the realization that most of them end up contradicting each other, rendering it totally impossible to be perfect. Like we didn't already know that! But, I'm still convinced by the looks of you that some of you are. And I have to hate you for it. So, without much ado (or a lot), here is the list:

* You should prepare hearty, healthy, well-balanced meals composed largely of items from your food storage or your backyard garden . . . on a budget. Contradition: healthy food is generally expensive and my kids may or may not actually eat it.

* You should be attractive and fit, but don't spend too much time or money on it. And most definitely, don't be vain. And shower, dress, and complete full hair and make-up routine at some undefined time between your early morning workout, getting the kids to school, and the time when anyone might catch you in your sweats. But don't wear sweats because you are sexy, romantic, and mysterious. Contradiction: Unless you're naturally beautiful or thin, you're completely out of luck. Because being beautiful and thin is expensive and time consuming.

*And clean. For the love of pete, clean like mad! Don't let anyone know that your kids (and/or your husband) miss the toilet half the time. There should be no tell-tale signs left behind from your culinary masterpieces, and your kids should achieve their stimulating, educational play in CIA-worthy stealth because no one should actually detect toys or play-dough anywhere in your house. Do laundry as the clothes are worn, promptly fold and iron as they come out of the dryer, and immediately put away in a color-coded, labled fashion, so you don't have the dreaded laundry baskets laying around. You should, by the way be able to see through all your windows in your house and your car. Heaven forbid the little FBI agents leave fingerprints! That would completely derail Mission: Clean House. But remember, remember, don't neglect your kids while doing any of this, don't use the TV as a baby-sitter, and don't you dare sweats!

* You should always make time for your kids, your husband, your parents, your in-laws, the sick neighbor, the PTA, the friend in need, the orphans in Africa, your church calling, and your civic duties. But you should also take time for yourself, develop a hobby, and cultivate your talents. Contradiction: Are you kidding me?

* You're going to be at risk for heart disease, osteoporosis, diabetes, and a host of other problems we don't even know about yet if you don't exercise 30 minutes a day, drink 900 glasses of water, and live on asparagus, eggplant, and the occasional banana. Contradiction: I thought I was supposed to be making casseroles for the neighbor and having freshly baked bread waiting for my kids when they got home from school? Oh I get it, make everyone else fat while I stay skinny!

* You should take time every day to read your scriptures, supplemental religious texts, your daily newspaper, your book club book, and balance the checkbook, comb for coupons and sales. And don't forget to read to your kids for at least 30 minutes to assure that they're reading Shakespeare independently by fourth grade, so they can get into an Ivy League school that you'll never be able to pay for.

*And don't forget to keep your kids and yourself abreast of current events and political climate, so you can be culturally aware and engaging in intellectual conversations. But don't let any of it get you down or make you pessimistic because you should always be upbeat and positive, so your kids don't have to be on Prozac. Because if they do, they will inevitably blame you for it.

* You should be green, very green. All the while, driving a Suburban full of 8 kids to soccer practice, play practice, ballet, and swimming lessons. Because your kids should be well-rounded. And if they're not, there is really no chance they'll be getting accepted to the aforementioned Ivy League school. And they'll blame you for that too. So nix the Suburban and bike everywhere in a single file line with your all your food storage from Costco in eco-friendly shopping bags pulled behind you in a bike trailer . . . that you luckily bought in mint condition at a garage sale because you're ridiculously frugal and savvy.

* And you should blog, facebook, email, scrapbook, write thank you notes, journal, diary, take pictures and video to keep in contact with everyone you know in their preferred manner . . . and to eternally document your perfection . . . or in this case, imperfection.

I could go on, but I'm pretty sure you stopped reading long ago. But congratulations to all of you who manage to do all of this just make the rest of feel bad. As for me, I've resigned myself to imperfection. I had a friend (or a long-time acquaintance) that called me "fat, foul, and ugly" in high school. Maybe I should call her and see how her list is coming, and tell her that I'm living up to all of her expectations of me just fine.

Not What Shakespeare Intended

I love Shakespeare's sonnets. And the romantic in me (trust me nonbelievers, there's one in there somewhere) has always held 116 close to my heart. In days of old, the words would conjure up an image of Kate Winslet reciting it on a cliff, tears streaming down her face, rain pouring, wind blowing. Tragic, poignant, a la Sense and Sensibility.

But now, as my ninth anniversary approaches, I have a new appreciation for the words and what the real marriage of minds means. It is the kind of love that looks on every day reality and is not altered or shaken. Basement apartments, burnt meals, ear infections, births and deaths, ebbing and flowing finances, waxing and waning weight, tragedies and triumphs, sleepless nights, and countless other things. A love that will endure all that, and inevitably much more, is that which has a worth unknown.

So here's to Sonnet 116 and its timeless wisdom. And here's to nine incredible years of marriage, four beautiful children, and a husband that is my "ever fixed mark." And also, as an added bonus, is never too good to vacuum, do dishes, or change a diaper!

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O; no! It is an ever fixed mark,

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Easy Like Sunday Morning

Clearly whoever penned those words (Lionel Ritchie perhaps?) was not much of a church goer, or at least never tried getting four children to church on time. I'll be the first to admit that Sunday mornings are far from easy at our house. They're fast, frenzied, and frenetic. The very antithesis of easy.

However, last Sunday was a gift of sorts. Fisher was sick, so I opted to stay home with he and Quincy for the first couple meetings. And it was easy . . . and beautiful. We snuggled up on the couch and read books for an hour. A true miracle within itself for a two year old. And dare I say it, possibly more faith affirming and spiritually enlightening than fighting him through a typical church meeting. Either way, it was a wonderful way to spend my Sunday morning.

Valentine's Day

Obviously, Valentine's Day has come and gone, but it was a great day nontheless. This year, it was marked by an unbelievable snowstorm. There used to be a time when Valentine's Day was a day to celebrate the love for your sweetheart. But these days, it's a family day. Our girls were so excited for Valentine's Day this year, they created a paper chain to count down to the big day. So the stakes were high-- we had to do something special. But with a snowstorm, newborn, and tight budget, what can be done?

My mom had outfitted the girls with matching Valentine's shirts. Thanks mom! And that morning I mustered an attempt at pink, heart-shaped pancakes. It's the thought that counts, right? And, later in the morning, Grandma Ross delivered her much-awaited sugar cookies. She has been monogramming personalized sugar cookies for V-Day since her kids were little. Now that she has four children and their spouses and fourteen grandkids, the task is a mighty one, but she keeps the tradition alive and our kids look forward to it every year. Thanks grandma!

In the afternoon, Dan took the girls on a date to a movie and ice cream while the babies slept. They were tickled pink. And then we spent the night at home with Grandma and Grandpa Fisher. Overall, not a bad day. A reminder that now Valentine's is about family and the love we have for each other. Gone are the days of heart boxed candy, roses, and sappy cards . . . thank goodness!