I have about a thousand other things to catch up on this blog. But, in the meantime, is this not the cutest picture you have ever seen? Quincy was my reluctant model yesterday as I was taking pictures of my mother-in-law's new hats. But she snuck in a couple smiles here and there! Want to see more pictures of my kids in cute hats? madhatterknits.blogspot.com
As my sister-in-law told about inflicting her wrath upon those who dared make fun of her brother, I chuckled out loud. How many times did I stare back at the kids who stared at Jeffrey? As Thad's nine brothers and sisters spoke about the honor, blessings, and privilege of serving their brother, their feelings resonated with my own. As they spoke about the wonderful example and testimony of their parents, I echoed.
I have never heard my parents refer to Jeffrey as a burden. Never. I have never heard them refer to Jeffrey as anything other than one of Heavenly Father's choicest spirits sent to live in our family. I was raised to believe that Jeffrey was an angel among us. They will never know what it means to be empty nesters. They will never enjoy a leisurely and quiet retirement, complete with golf and travel. And they know that. But they have never said it. My parents are amazing and they do it all very quietly, with no show, no call for applause or recognition.
So, while Jeffrey's limitations and challenges are extremely different than Thad's were, I could relate whole-heartedly to the sentiments shared in his funeral. And I sat their with a permanent lump in my throat.
Jeffrey was born when I was four and a half, so I can't really remember life without him. For eight years, he was all I knew of a sibling, so I didn't really expect anything else. He was and is my brother, and I can't imagine life without him. Certainly the blessings of being raised with Jeffrey outweigh any inconvenience. I have learned much of patience, tolerance, service, and gratitude that I would not have otherwise. Every time I am with him, he gives me perspective, grounds me, humbles me. Lest you think otherwise, life with him is not idyllic. He's bossy, he frets, he's anxious and OCD, he doesn't like my food or my house . . . but I love him desperately. And even if I had the chance, I don't know that I would change it. Because he has changed me.
My girls each dressed up as flappers this year (even though they had no idea what a flapper was and kept forgetting the name of their costume!) Loryn's costume is actually the exact one that I wore in elementary school, handmade by my very own mother! Fisher was thrilled to be a fireman as that is his latest obsession. And Quincy refused to dress up and so we resorted to the age-old tactic of cross dressing.
Earlier in the week, the youth in our ward hosted a Halloween carnival for the primary kids. Since I'm an advisor, I was in charge of the face painting booth and was also "forced" to dress up in 80's attire and perform "Beat It" as a sequel to last year's "Thriller" performance. It was an all-time personal low.
On Saturday morning, we hosted a Halloween party for the whole Ross clan at our house. We had donut-on-a-string eating contests, cake walks, and all kinds of fun. We felt so lucky to have Mike and Lesa and their kids in town that weekend (even though it was unfortunate circumstances that brought them).
Just as the prime trick-or-treating hours neared, the clouds opened and it began to pour. We waited out the storm at Grandma and Grandpa Fisher's. As soon as the rain slowed to a trickle, we bundled up for some great trick-or-treating. My kids thought this notion of free candy was simply wonderful and couldn't get enough. Loryn and Katie were running from house to house so quickly we couldn't keep up. Fisher and Quincy were hilarious and completely adorable. A real highlight of the year.